Faith and Duty
People make decisions about a situation based on the information they have available. If they have the wrong information, or even the right information presented in the wrong way, they can make a bad decision. That same person would have made an entirely different decision if they had known different information.
My ex-girlfriend showed me this. She would never tell a lie. Instead, she would say an incomplete truth.
“Did you get home before 10?” her father would ask. “Yes,” she would say. The father obviously meant 10 pm at night for her curfew. In fact she got in at 11 pm or later, but since her father had not explicitly asked ’10 pm’, her answer was technically correct – as she had gotten in before 10 am the following day.
While technically truthful, it was a lie. Her parents sometimes caught her out in a lie, and she would explain the reason that it was still the truth. This taught me to explicitly state all of my questions to her so that she was unable to lie to me. Her parents didn’t do this, and instead just stopped trusting her.
The other thing she would often do would be to dodge a question. Two of her favourite ways were to ask “Why do you want to know?” or by changing the conversation, “Why would you think otherwise?” If the person could not provide a reason for it, the question was implicitly considered to be true, even though it was a lie. The last was the famous “Look, a UFO!” where she would simply disregard the question and talk about something else. In her head, she was being completely honest and open, but everybody around her thought of her as fickle and untrustworthy.
Because of this and many fights I had with her, I became very good at spotting this kind of behaviour. Most of the time it’s best just to remain silent and let the person think that their lie has been accepted. If you catch a person lying and say it, the other person will avoid you because they are ashamed that you have exposed them, while all the time acting outraged and offended that you could say such a thing. Instead, quietly decide if this person is a good person for you to have in their life and wonder for the reason for their deception. Liars will often accuse those who exposed them as the liar. They can’t help it. It’s easier to blame somebody else than to accept responsibility for their behaviour. It’s too hard for them to turn around and walk back through that shameful path. Instead, they lie more and more to protect themselves and to try to convince others that they are trustworthy. This is the meaning of the saying, “What a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive.” Watch out for people who act irrationally and can’t speak honestly to your face. Those people need help and forgiveness.
Why do people lie?
The lie itself is usually not nearly as important as the reason for lying. People don’t always lie for a selfish reason. But a person who never lies does not have to remember the lies that they have told and never has to worry about being exposed for it.
Some times a person will lie to protect another from information that is harmful to them. Sometimes a person will lie to protect themselves – the truth is dangerous or embarrassing to them. But another case is when somebody lies to deliberately mislead a different party. All lies are shameful, because we as humans know it is wrong to deceive, but the lie that is made to deliberately give somebody the wrong impression is the most dangerous, destructive lie of all.
A lie can be made to protect information. Some information is secret. Some information is private. What is the reason for the lie to be told to protect the information? Secret information must be protected because it can be dangerous to others, for example, the plans of the army. Private information is protected because it can be dangerous to the individual if released, for example, your address or credit card details.
A lie can also be made from withholding critical details of the information. A person may be pressured and unable to say “I can’t reveal that information”, or, posed a yes/no question where “I can’t answer” also gives away the true situation. “Did you steal xxx?” Instead, that person will lie to protect their privacy or the privacy of others. Private information is private. It can be embarrassing for everybody to know. This is the meaning of the saying “Airing your dirty laundry”.
When you decide to lie, what is the reason? Either you can’t trust that person with the true information, or you want that person to do something that you can’t honestly ask them to do, or because you can’t honestly respond without being harmed or harming another. But be sure that when you lie and are discovered, the person that you have deceived may be very, very angry with you. Not that you lied to them, but what is the reason for the lie? Discovering that you are not as respected by somebody as much as you thought you were can be a very painful experience for everyone.
People make decisions based on information. Information that is not necessary for them to know to make their decisions is not considered. Information that would help them make their decisions that is withheld is called “pulling the wool over their eyes”. It means that a person or group are being manipulated by an individual or other group who are feeding them some information that does not accurately represent the larger body of information.
Is that a lie? By the strictest definition, no. But by withholding information, you are giving an incomplete truth. By giving an incomplete truth, you deceive others. When you deceive others, you are not respecting them. When people are disrespected, the result is that they do not trust you. There is a saying – “When you curse, two pits are made.” This means that not only do you harm the other person, but you also harm yourself. When you lie or treat the other person with disrespect, the result is that they trust you less.
Trust is linked to respect. Another word for respect is love. Depending on the context, they are interchangeable. These are two very important things that define the basic foundation of society. A child trusts and loves its parents. The parents trust and love each other. The parents trust and respect their neighbours, who in turn have their own respect and trust of one another. These groups band together in times of need because they trust each other to look after one another. This is the meaning of Aesop’s Fable, that one stick is broken easily, but ten sticks bound together can’t be broken. Even in the Bible, God said (re: the Tower of Babel), “When they are united like this, who can stop them?” (Well, God can and did >.>). The Japanese character for ‘people’ is made from two people supporting each other.
Consider the effect on a family when the parents stop trusting one another or feel that the other has stopped respecting them. Consider the effect on a group when people gossip secretly to each other and make snide comments behind others backs. Consider the effect on friends when one decides not to trust or respect the other.
That is the reason that lying is a sin.
My ex-girlfriend showed me this. She would never tell a lie. Instead, she would say an incomplete truth.
“Did you get home before 10?” her father would ask. “Yes,” she would say. The father obviously meant 10 pm at night for her curfew. In fact she got in at 11 pm or later, but since her father had not explicitly asked ’10 pm’, her answer was technically correct – as she had gotten in before 10 am the following day.
While technically truthful, it was a lie. Her parents sometimes caught her out in a lie, and she would explain the reason that it was still the truth. This taught me to explicitly state all of my questions to her so that she was unable to lie to me. Her parents didn’t do this, and instead just stopped trusting her.
The other thing she would often do would be to dodge a question. Two of her favourite ways were to ask “Why do you want to know?” or by changing the conversation, “Why would you think otherwise?” If the person could not provide a reason for it, the question was implicitly considered to be true, even though it was a lie. The last was the famous “Look, a UFO!” where she would simply disregard the question and talk about something else. In her head, she was being completely honest and open, but everybody around her thought of her as fickle and untrustworthy.
Because of this and many fights I had with her, I became very good at spotting this kind of behaviour. Most of the time it’s best just to remain silent and let the person think that their lie has been accepted. If you catch a person lying and say it, the other person will avoid you because they are ashamed that you have exposed them, while all the time acting outraged and offended that you could say such a thing. Instead, quietly decide if this person is a good person for you to have in their life and wonder for the reason for their deception. Liars will often accuse those who exposed them as the liar. They can’t help it. It’s easier to blame somebody else than to accept responsibility for their behaviour. It’s too hard for them to turn around and walk back through that shameful path. Instead, they lie more and more to protect themselves and to try to convince others that they are trustworthy. This is the meaning of the saying, “What a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive.” Watch out for people who act irrationally and can’t speak honestly to your face. Those people need help and forgiveness.
Why do people lie?
The lie itself is usually not nearly as important as the reason for lying. People don’t always lie for a selfish reason. But a person who never lies does not have to remember the lies that they have told and never has to worry about being exposed for it.
Some times a person will lie to protect another from information that is harmful to them. Sometimes a person will lie to protect themselves – the truth is dangerous or embarrassing to them. But another case is when somebody lies to deliberately mislead a different party. All lies are shameful, because we as humans know it is wrong to deceive, but the lie that is made to deliberately give somebody the wrong impression is the most dangerous, destructive lie of all.
A lie can be made to protect information. Some information is secret. Some information is private. What is the reason for the lie to be told to protect the information? Secret information must be protected because it can be dangerous to others, for example, the plans of the army. Private information is protected because it can be dangerous to the individual if released, for example, your address or credit card details.
A lie can also be made from withholding critical details of the information. A person may be pressured and unable to say “I can’t reveal that information”, or, posed a yes/no question where “I can’t answer” also gives away the true situation. “Did you steal xxx?” Instead, that person will lie to protect their privacy or the privacy of others. Private information is private. It can be embarrassing for everybody to know. This is the meaning of the saying “Airing your dirty laundry”.
When you decide to lie, what is the reason? Either you can’t trust that person with the true information, or you want that person to do something that you can’t honestly ask them to do, or because you can’t honestly respond without being harmed or harming another. But be sure that when you lie and are discovered, the person that you have deceived may be very, very angry with you. Not that you lied to them, but what is the reason for the lie? Discovering that you are not as respected by somebody as much as you thought you were can be a very painful experience for everyone.
People make decisions based on information. Information that is not necessary for them to know to make their decisions is not considered. Information that would help them make their decisions that is withheld is called “pulling the wool over their eyes”. It means that a person or group are being manipulated by an individual or other group who are feeding them some information that does not accurately represent the larger body of information.
Is that a lie? By the strictest definition, no. But by withholding information, you are giving an incomplete truth. By giving an incomplete truth, you deceive others. When you deceive others, you are not respecting them. When people are disrespected, the result is that they do not trust you. There is a saying – “When you curse, two pits are made.” This means that not only do you harm the other person, but you also harm yourself. When you lie or treat the other person with disrespect, the result is that they trust you less.
Trust is linked to respect. Another word for respect is love. Depending on the context, they are interchangeable. These are two very important things that define the basic foundation of society. A child trusts and loves its parents. The parents trust and love each other. The parents trust and respect their neighbours, who in turn have their own respect and trust of one another. These groups band together in times of need because they trust each other to look after one another. This is the meaning of Aesop’s Fable, that one stick is broken easily, but ten sticks bound together can’t be broken. Even in the Bible, God said (re: the Tower of Babel), “When they are united like this, who can stop them?” (Well, God can and did >.>). The Japanese character for ‘people’ is made from two people supporting each other.
Consider the effect on a family when the parents stop trusting one another or feel that the other has stopped respecting them. Consider the effect on a group when people gossip secretly to each other and make snide comments behind others backs. Consider the effect on friends when one decides not to trust or respect the other.
That is the reason that lying is a sin.
Whoa!!! This is a heavy read! Are you ok? ounds like somebody hurt you. or...are you just philosophising?
Posted by
Anonymous |
January 29, 2008 at 4:05 PM
I was hurt because I was lying to myself.
This is me purging the hurt and misunderstanding.
Order has been restored.
Posted by
Sky_Paladin |
January 30, 2008 at 7:28 AM